homesick

well, as it has turned out i finally got homesick.


i call home almost everyday to talk to my mom, dad, sister, stevie and my grandparents.
but its not the same as being home in their presence
especially missing my puppies (luckily one of the guys up here is gone for a couple weeks so my roomie and i have been dog sitting him, Fella...coolest dog ever) but its no Lola and Skya


last night i physically felt ill from being homesick, i guess its probably anxeity too, i do get to go home in 10 days for mothers day!


i feel somewhat emo/depressed lately..which for me...isnt good, cause im on meds to help that but i think its just a slump im in and i will get over, i always do.


trying to get healthy again now that im finally used to this climate, and life style im not physically sick anymore, time to exercise and eat healthy.  been going for long runs everyday they get easier and easier, and being in this nature filled area it makes it easy to get out of the house and explore! i cant wait for summer so i can go mountain biking. i also need to start swimming more, the pool has been closed for a week but as soon as it re opens ill be there.


i have been coooking alot, i feel like a house wife, but its okay cause i love my roomie and we both pitch in equally, im teaching her to cook as well! it sucks not being able to just run to the store to get fresh meat, or fruit or anything but i have found ways to live without.


music has been keeping me sane these days. i need to download some more feel good quiet music! but everytime i feel like crap and im at home, i pick up my guitar and start playing, or pick up my lyrics journal and write a song.


favorite song currently is Glitter in the Air by pink.

"Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?

Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?

Have you ever looked fear in the face

And said I just don't care?


It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?


Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?


It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames

Have you ever felt this way?
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar


Have you ever wished for an endless night?

Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight

Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself

Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight"

 

 

 

indecisivness at its best

well. i think im crazy, or just really smart. but i dont know what to call it.
i blame my care-free, easy going attitude on my indecisivness.
i need to stop looking at it as a negative thing tho.


i think i am no longer going to do the Nursing Unit Clerk course.
i love hospitality
i love travelling
i love positive atmospheres
and positive people.
dont get me wrong i love health care and i loved my job at the hospital
but to be honest i dont think i could mentally or physically handle it for the rest of my life.


I have come across a program from North Island College, for a Hospitality Management Diploma. Its in the distance education program so I can do what I am loving, living up at Manning (or if life throws it my way) another resort and go to school at the same time.


My huge goal right now is to be in London for the 2012 Summer Olympics and travel europe with Coral before and after that (it has been great meeting some euros here now i have a place to crash!) So i could definately use my education and experience to work and travel there!


I think i hate changing my mind for school and life decisions because i get so excited about the particular path at the time and run my mouth, and then i feel as if i am dissapointing people when i change my mind. But i need to do whats good for me and what my heart and mind tell me to do.


I was hoping to go on another missions trip to Mexico this Summer, but it will not work out unfortunately as I couldnt leave the resort for 2 weeks or leave a month early and put them in a sticky situation with having to hire another person just for a month or at end of summer.


I am excited because after talking to my manager she sees leadership skills in me and my work ethics, and thinks that I should do hospitality.  She is a great role model and influence!


Well, thats all for todays thoughts of indecisivness, now onto acutally going ahead with everything.

crisp cool fresh air

my walk to work this morning was absolutely beautiful.
i cannot belive i live here.
surrounded by gorgeous nature everywhere i look!


The air was a perfect temperature this morning. Just enough wind to be refreshed.  All my senses were awakened. My skin was all tingly from coming out of a hot shower into the air.  My eyes were opened wide viewing all the nature with the morning mountain sun on everything. My nose smelling how fresh everything is. Listening to the ground squirrels chirp and the birds tweet.


I saw 2 birds chasing after eachother, playing or flirting either way it was fun to watch. 


I was hoping to see a Lynx this morning, as there was one in the area last night, no sign. there are a couple guys up here who have alot of video footage of it from yesterday.


This one tree on my walk caught my eye.  It was beauitful. Just enough light shining on it to make it glow. And it had moss hanging from its branches so perfectly.


I cannot belive I live here. Surrounded by nature.

up's and down's

Well, here I am.  All settled in to Manning, for the most part.  These last 12 days have been a mixture of awesome, weird, fun, exciting, scary, great, horrible...well you get the point.


When I first got here I easily discovered  how laid back everyone and everything is, which is right up my alley. The first night I went out to the bar with my roomate Jay (who works in the kitchen).  Sat down met a couple cool people, boys and girls.  Then I realized the boy to girl ratio here is about 10:1.  I was the only girl in the bar sitting down with about 10 guys (can you say "welcome to manning"?) haha!  It was good. But of course i met a boy, a boy with a mullet. We got along really well because we are both goofy. It was a good night and good to meet so many people at once.


The next day, I took it easy chilled and watched some DVD's on my computer and who walks in at about 5pm but the boy with a mullet. Yes, he has a name.  His name is Alex and he is from New Zealand.  We headed out to a Beer Pong tournament at site 9, which was 10$ all you can drink because they had gone to U Brew earlier in the week.  Was interesting taste of beer, kind of sweet.  It was a good night, met alot more people and hit the hay early because i had my first shift at 9am.


Work was awesome the first day. It was snowing heaps, and they sent me out to go look at the different cabins and chalets they have. And spent the rest of the day learning, and filling out paperwork. Work has continued to be hella sweet. Get to do alot of data entry since its not busy with guests right now so my manager gives us tasks to do which i  really enjoy.  I have met alot of inetersting people that have walked thru here and stayed here as well.


Social life has been good.  Not partying too much, but enough to socialize.  I didn't get to go ski or snowboard at all, and the mountain is closed as of April 5th.  I had been spending quite a bit of time with Alex, which is nice because most of the people up here are in relationships together so it was nice to have someone to always hang out with.  He worked up at the rental shop so we got off work at the same time, so it was nice to have somone to walk home with as well.  Everyone i have met up here has been more than awesome, so sweet, honest and fun.


 I finally got to meet my roomate Tamara, who was away for the first couple days and we have clicked so well!! Our other roomate Jay, moves back to Kelowna tomorrow, so I am stealing his room and stealing a double bed from another unit so i will have a sweet room.


Speaking of our house, the other day i realized a mouse or rat had eaten my bananas sitting out, so i threw it in the garbage. I come home that night and see the banana that i had thrown away up at the top of the stairs by my room in front of the crawl space. So not only am i thinking wtf we have a rodent im thinking how freaking big is this thing that it can carry a huge banana up the stairs! So the whole night i freaked out and could here it in the attic and scratching at the crawl space (convinced it was at my door and was goign to come eat me) so i moved to the top bunk! Since then i have got maintence to take care of it and they will trap it.


Well on to the not so good stuff of my trip. I have had a really hard last couple of days, just i guess a mix of emotion.  On Sunday night i couldnt get a hold of anyone (even tho we all live within feet of eachother) so i walked over to the pub and had a beer and sat down with a couple of the older people up here and had good conversation.  The a co-workers mom was up and had some really nasty things to say to me.  She came across as a really nice person, but everything I said she downtalked me like saying I dont know anything until i have lived up here, and all this other bullcrap. So i left and was pretty upset. Then I had a bit of a falling out with Alex and ran into him so that threw me over the edge. But I had a really good talk with one of my good girlfriends Savannah and made it better. Then yesterday after not talking to Alex for 3 days, he comes into the lodge at the beginning of my shift to say goodbye to me because he was leaving back to new zealand, which i knew. So that was really hard but I am SO happy I met him, but will miss him.  The last couple of days about 20-25 staff members have left to go home so that has really sucked as well, but i hope i can keep in touch with all of them.


Well, I should probably find some productive work to do. We have one guest and a school staying here, so not much to do.


I miss you all. And hope you can come visit! I get great staff rates!


I will try and update more often.


oxoxoxoxo


p.s big thanks to mommy and daddy for bringing me up turkey dinner and fresh groceries!